How long has it been? cycling through this phase of questioning and whatever...
Put some thoughts up here though chances are nobody I know sees it so the point of saying it at all is???
Been in one of those moods again, no I mean really ANGRY. Try to say things they come out wrong, to get somebody's attention but not too hard because then I have to deal with she don't want to talk to me.
And meanwhile the rest of life is moving along, can this one thing really be bothering me that much? Why is it? could it be that I got 50+ msgs from girls I don't know willing to ... but nearly collapse going up to one in particular, well face to face is different.
I have no idea who could be reading this, doesn't matter.
A friend went on a rampage recently over similar issues, I restrained myself but still pissed off.
Came close to stomping on someones head, apparently the fact that i like an asian girl means I should be killed, be nice if someone had the guts to act on this type of thing, it would be satisfying to beat them to a bloody pulp even if it gets me locked up for a long time.
A straight answer will at least give indicator that optimism is based on delusion. Conflicting thoughts, tried to get it sorted out in a pathetic little sms still waiting on a reply. Then why is it so hard to just go up and talk to her? Maybe it is easier to go on a rampage, and see who will visit me in jail.
Got real potential to be a newsworthy psychopath, but honestly I would rather a family in a nice area with lots of trees and room for pets to run around.
A friend asked what am I waiting for, what is holding me back from what I want, well the games involved in dealing with people, expectations to do things and neglect what gives some happiness in my life.